


My Heart Is Still Yours

by NathTE



Category: CNBLUE (Band), 소녀시대 | Girls' Generation | SNSD, 우리 결혼했어요 | We Got Married
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-05-29 01:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15062474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NathTE/pseuds/NathTE
Summary: They met again by chance in a cold night, love and hurt were present, but hope for a new future together warmed their hearts and guided their way back to each other’s arms.OrA story of how Yonghwa and Seohyun met the other again, and that they never stopped loving each other.





	1. Warm Tea

**Author's Note:**

> Title: My Heart Is Still Yours  
> Ship: YongSeo (Jung Yonghwa/Seohyun)  
> Genre: Angst/Romance  
> A/N: Well, finally I’m posting my first YongSeo fanfiction!!!! Although they were my first couple, and the ones that brought me here, now, as a k-pop fan, I have never written about them. It wasn’t because I lacked ideas, I’m not sure quite why. But finally, I could take this out of my mind and write about them without them being secondary characters. I hope you like it! :D

It was a cold night, the streets were deserted because of it, with the few people still awake were already comfortable inside the 24/7 places scattered in Seoul or in their own homes. It was good for him, least probability of anyone recognize him walking aimlessly on the empty streets. He had enough of media exposure the last few months and he was seriously tired, so walking almost like an anonymous person was a fresh breath after a long time feeling stuck in a dark place.

 

When he decided to be a musician, a member of Korean wave, he knew what he was signing up to, the exposure, the rumors, the controversies, the scandals, he knew all that and he was ready for them, but it would be a lie if he would say they didn’t hurt. It would be lying to say he wasn’t unaffected by them, it would be a lie to deny how fucked up all of that was.

 

He sometimes wondered how it would be if he had never pursued that dream of playing guitar and singing, but then he wouldn’t have met those amazing people throughout the years, those amazing friends, some like family, and that were there for him for all those years. Yeah, he wouldn’t exchange that for anything, the precious relationships he made during those years of being a singer, not even the painful ones. However, soon he would have a break of all of that, he was going to give himself some time of anonymous life and he was going to enjoy it. The military was going to give him an opportunity to breathe and think, to be himself away from cameras and comments of netizens.

 

He was so lost in thoughts he not even noticed where he was going until he stopped in front of it, he couldn’t stop the laugh that came through his mouth. He hasn’t come to that place in years, he not even thought of that place at all. But apparently, it never left the back of his mind.

 

He contemplated turning around and walking away, but curiosity made him step ahead and push the doors to finally enter that 24/7 tea shop that used to be close to the older building his company used to use. An almost hidden shop where he spent a relaxing time after long hours working. Where he used to meet _her_. The shop didn’t change that much during the years he stopped coming there, the same wooden floor, wooden chairs and tables and that same comfortable and warm ambiance that he used to enjoy so much. Even the smell of different herbs was familiar and inviting as it always were back then.

 

Looking around he noticed the shop was practically empty if not but him, the worker and a person seated at the back reading a book. Relieved he walked to the counter and asked for a lemon tea and chose the other table at the back, pushing his mask up and pulling his hat further down when he saw himself in front of the other person.

 

He noticed that they were using a scarf that took half of their face and a bonnet that hid their hair, nothing too strange really, a lot of did that in the middle of the night anyway. So, he looked away and tapped a tune on the table while he waited for his tea.

 

As the time passed he started to notice a frown in the person in front of him and he noticed that because of the emptiness of the shop his tapping was loud enough to bother the other customer. He stopped his fingers and lowered his head in apology, sighing inwardly.

 

He pulled his mask off and placed his hands in front of his face while he started to count in his head, trying to muffle his thoughts. Entering that shop was a bad idea, memories he didn’t want to have anything to do anymore were flourishing at each breath he took. He was taken forcefully out of his self-hypnotization when the worker placed the hot tea in front of him causing him to muffle a scream.

 

“I’m so sorry sir,” the barista asked apologetically.

 

“That’s fine,” he answered not even remembering to hide his face.

 

The worker bowed and went back to his place behind the counter and he grabbed the cup with both of his hands feeling the warmth penetrate his cold hands. He stared at the light green liquid for a while, trying to think of nothing, but a nagging feeling of someone looking at him intently made him look up and finally meet the clear brown eyes from the person seated in front of him on the other table. It was the person he was so desperately trying not to think.

 

She was looking back at him with surprise. What a joke, really, them meeting in that place, after so many years. He gripped his cup of tea harder in an attempt of holding in feelings he got so used to push back. It was easy to fake it in front of cameras, it was so easy to say that he was in a drama in which they were friends, that the hurt never happened, that they never happened.

 

He schooled his face the best he could and gave her a nod, and for a second, he thought he saw hurt passing on those open eyes of hers, but it was soon nowhere to be seen. She just nodded back at him and he turned to stare at his tea, wishing desperately that all of that was just a dream.

 

He took a long sip of his tea and his eyes met hers again, and for the first time in a long while they stared at each other. It took a long while until both looked away, trying to compose again the mask they were so used to have when in the presence of the other.

 

He only looked up at her direction again when he heard the rustle of clothes and the noise of the chair moving while she got up and walked away. Not understanding what took him he finished his tea in one gulp and went after her, not minding the curious look the barista shot at them both.

 

He reached her a block away from the shop and a bit breathless he called her.

 

“Wait…” She turned around and stared at him.

 

“Yes, Yonghwa-ssi?” her soft voice fluctuated to him, condensate breath escaping her lips.

 

It hurt her saying his name like this, but he couldn’t blame her for doing so.

 

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable, Seohyun-ssi, I was already leaving, you didn’t need to…” She interrupted him.

 

“I was going already, it’s late and I should be home,” she looked away, her nose flaring as she took deep breaths. “Don’t think too much of yourself in this case.”

 

Hurt and anger flared in his chest, but she wasn’t wrong either. He shouldn’t think too much of himself, that he would be the responsible for her actions.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

 

She just nodded and turned on her heels, walking once again away from him. However, she only took a few more steps before she stopped again and this time she was the one to call him while she turned around

 

“Yonghwa-ssi, what…” she stopped and took a deep breath. “What made you come to that place?”

 

That question gave him pause. Why had he come to that place? Why really?

 

“And what made you?” he saw himself asking instead.

 

He saw when she tensed her shoulders and squared them, preparing herself for something, what, he didn’t know yet. He also saw the determination harden her face, the soft lines of her face hardening with resolution.

 

“You,” her answer was simple, said with so much determination that it struck him.

 

Because it resonated inside him because it was the same as him. Deep inside he knew, he knew why his steps led him to that place, why he saw himself entering. It was because of her, because of the feelings he still had for her and that he still held tight.

 

He didn’t saw himself walking to her, he only saw when his hands touched her round face and his eyes were staring intently at hers. He saw the mirror image of his feelings, the hurt, the anger, the hope and the love. Without any more words his lips met hers, hesitantly at first, almost too careful, but when he felt her corresponding to his kiss, he pressed his lips harder and kissed her deeper, conveying all those feelings he had locked for so long. He felt her kissing him back as hard, with as many feelings.

 

It was with much regret that he pulled back, both panting and holding each other with so much fear and desperation, afraid the spell would be broken and lost.

 

“It was you,” he finally answered. “It will always be you.”

 

And she smiled, she smiled so brightly that made him smile back. It was that same smile that always made his heart thump loudly and looked like it was going to ride its way out of his chest. He pulled her for a kiss again, in the middle of a sleeping Seoul, away from prying eyes and the reality.

 

Both sharing the warmth of the lemon tea they consumed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 **A/N:** For now, putting this as complete, because I don’t want to give false hopes to anyone, and because this was intended to be a one-shot. But who knows? Anyway, let me know what you think ;)


	2. Wish sincerely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yah! Maknae, why you took so long to pick up?” Hyoyeon was the first to speak. 
> 
> “Sorry unnie, I was busy–” she started to explain but was cut by Yoona.

It was early morning when she woke up, the sun barely peaked on top of the glittering buildings of Seoul, his arm loosely wrapped around her waist. Smiling she gently turned around so she could stare at his sleeping face, her brown eyes tracing the perfect lines of his face, memorizing them. Since that night they met again in that little tea shop, their tea shop, theirs lives fit as if they were pieces of the same puzzle, it was so natural, so right.

 

But the pain of the past still lingered, and they saw themselves fighting in the coming weeks after their meeting, about the things they haven’t resolved then. All the pain, resentment and fear they had stored in them since they broke up came to the surface and they would point at each other and almost scream their frustrations, alleviating all the misunderstandings that were left behind.

 

Most often than not they would end up making up in the most passionate way, with their bodies tangled while they moaned each other’s names, hands never leaving the other’s body while they asked sorry and forgave each other through words and actions. And she knew they still had so much to solve, but they didn’t have so much time left until he had to go through with his enlistment.

 

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes while moving closer to him, breathing that scent she had always associated with him, a mixture of man cologne and oils used to polish acoustic guitars. Why things had to be so difficult for people like them? She would question herself every time.

 

Because it was their work and what they were that led them apart when they were together at that time. But it also was what brought them together in the first place. If she hadn’t taken that opportunity to participate in that program she wouldn’t have experimented those amazing feelings she had for him, her first love, her first boyfriend, her first man, and also her first heartbreak.

 

Their make-believe marriage brought them together, as friends first, a friend that would always make her heart flutter with his mischievous grins and thoughtful gifts. Then she saw herself falling for him, for his stupid jokes and kid-like manners, his leading personality, his laugh, the way his eyes would crinkle when he was happy, that inflated ego that would sometimes make its appearance when she praised him, his all. She fell for all of him. And she was beyond happy when he reciprocated her feelings.

 

But being what they were, their relationship had to stay a secret. Hidden dates, stolen glances at TV Shows, secret smiles, brief kisses, slight brushes of hands. It was like a game, blissful in the first few minutes, but tiring in the long run. Because of the secret nature of their relationship they were always obliged to deny each other, to dismiss questions with professional answers, to lie. And it took a toll on them because despite knowing the words weren’t true it stung them, it hurt to hear the other say they didn’t have feelings for the other, that they were just colleagues, they were just acquaintances.

 

All of that coupled with the growths of their careers made it more difficult for them to see each other, to even hold complete conversations while on phone, it was especially difficult when they were in entirely different time zones. So, they grew apart, they grew colder and distant until they were no more. It was natural, no big fights or dramatic happenings, no company threatening them, they just decided it wasn’t worth anymore, all the heartache, they just became what they always told they were on television – acquaintances.

 

And they moved on, they smiled, they met other people, they dated, they grew even more distant and would always put a mask of tranquility on their faces every time they would meet, because despite all the love was still there, hidden, battered and forgotten. It was easy that way, to forget what they once were, to smile and shake hands as if nothing happened, that they were just mere colleagues that worked once before.

 

Easy, but painful. Way more than they were able to admit to themselves until that night they met again in their tea shop. That fateful night that they finally let go of all pretenses and finally let themselves love again, love each other freely. Their hearts were finally at ease.

 

She opened her eyes again and stared at his face again, holding her urge to trace his jaw with the tip of her fingers, but he startled her when he spoke, with his eyes still closed.

 

“Buin, I can feel your tension, has something worrying you?” Seohyun felt her heart flutter and a smile graced her lips.

 

“It has a while since you called me this way, nampyeon,” she said while she watched a smile spread over Yonghwa’s lips.

 

“Don’t change the subject, Hyun-ah,” he finally opening his dark brown eyes to stare back at her chocolate ones.

 

She pouted lightly but still answered.

 

“I was just thinking of the past,” Seohyun answered truthfully.

 

She felt when Yonghwa’s arms tightened around her and pulled her even closer. They both knew why the past still haunted them both, and would for a while

 

“We will never forget it, but we will move forward,” he finally spoke.

 

And she nodded and closed her eyes again letting herself drift to sleep again, feeling secure and loved in between his arms.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They were eating breakfast when that conversation they have been going on circles all the times before broke again, and this time Seohyun was keen in finally getting her point across.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, I am, oppa,” she puffed her cheeks and stared at him hard.

 

Yonghwa could only laugh at her beautiful angry face and tilt his head slightly to the side.

 

“Alright, alright,” he laughed and finally offered her a piece of his sandwich.

 

“Don’t distract me with food!” Seohyun avoided his hand and glared hard at him.

 

“I’m not!” He said while still trying to give her the food.

 

“Oppa, I’m serious!”  She avoided the offered food again.

 

Yonghwa sighed and finally put the piece of his sandwich back at his plate.

 

“Okay, you can visit me on camp when the time comes, but please, be careful,” he gives her a weak smile, his hands moving so he could cup her face gently and brush her cheek with his thumb. “I don’t want anyone hurting you because of this.”

 

Seohyun’s expression softened then and a soft smile spread through her lips. She moved her hand to place it on top of the one on her cheek.

 

“It will be alright, oppa, I promise,” she said sincerely.

 

“I will hold you to that, Hyun-ah,” he moves so he can peck her lips gently.

 

Seohyun just nodded and smiled brightly once again, one of those smiles she knew would make her boyfriend attack her lips more intensely. It was with satisfaction that she heard him moan and kiss her deeper.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They were seated on his couch while watching television, he was hugging her closer while she was resting her head on his shoulder, both feeling relaxed and content with how they were, just enjoying each other’s presence.

 

That’s why both jumped in surprise when Seohyun’s phone started to ring loudly, making Yonghwa curse under his breath and Seohyun quickly get up to grab her phone. As soon her eyes landed on the ID of the caller it was her time to curse, startling her boyfriend a bit because it was really unusual for her to say any type of bad words.

 

It was that day of the month, why it should be that day of the month coincide with the time they made to see each other? Why???

 

She glanced at Yonghwa’s direction, noticing his worried frown.

 

“Something wrong, Hyun?”

 

She shook her head, but still neither pickup up the call or rejected it.

 

“So, what is it?” His worry was growing.

 

Seohyun gulped slightly and looked down at her phone that was still insistently ringing.

 

“Unniedul¹… They are calling,” she answered him, still staring at her phone.

 

She didn’t know what to do, they had agreed on keeping things low for a little while, after all, they still had so much to take care of, to solve between them, and add more people in the mix could just make things more complicated. But, at the same time, she had to pick up, it was the sole day of the month she could talk to all her members again.

 

“Hyun-ah, just pick up, I will be here waiting for you,” she looked up again, meeting his soft eyes staring back at her with understanding.

 

“Thank you, oppa,” she said gratefully and sat in one of the chairs.

 

Yonghwa grinned and lowered the volume of the TV while Seohyun finally took the conference call.

 

“Yah! Maknae, why you took so long to pick up?” Hyoyeon was the first to speak.

 

“Sorry unnie, I was busy–” she started to explain but was cut by Yoona.

 

“Busy? Today? You know about our monthly call.”

 

“It’s the only time we can all synchronize our schedules, Seohyunie, you know that,” Tiffany added, sounding slightly tired.

 

“And the only time we can cut all the acting,” Jessica continued.

 

“And be all together,” finished Taeyeon.

 

While listening to her older friends she nodded each time and bowed her head.

 

“I’m sorry, but I just took the call a little bit later...” she tried again, but they wouldn’t let her.

 

“It took too long,” Sunny complained.

 

“You don’t want to talk to us anymore!” Sooyoung added in mock hurt.

 

“Just admit it, maknae,” Yuri finished with a barely contained laugh.

 

“It’s not like that, unnie!” Seohyun protested, what made all her unnies laugh at her, and made Yonghwa look at her with his eyebrows raised.

 

“We know, we know, just calm down,” Taeyeon finally interfered after laughing her heart out.

 

“You are mean!” Seohyun said, making her unnies laugh more.

 

After that they settled themselves in their usual conversation, catching up on each other’s lives and telling stories, as they would do if they could meet. It was always fun, and it brought memories of a time simpler where all dreams could come true.

 

It was half an hour later that she finally could hang up and moved to her place beside him, who was until then dividing his attention between the television and her conversation, with a soft smile gracing his lips because he was watching her having fun. He wrapped his arms around her again and pulled her closer. During all her conversation with her members, he was wondering if it wouldn’t be better if they finally outed themselves to their closest friends, so with a little of apprehension he started.

 

“Hyun, maybe it’s time… Maybe we should tell them, our members, about us.”

 

Seohyun moved so she could look him in the eyes, a frown settled on her features.

 

“But, I thought we should keep it to ourselves.”

 

“We did, but, maybe it’s time we tell them. Soon I’m going to the army, Hyun-ah, and I will feel better knowing you will have someone that knows it by your side,” Yonghwa said, pressing his forehead against hers, looking at her chocolate eyes with all sincerity and love. “Okay?”

 

Seohyun took her time to appreciate her boyfriend’s dark brown eyes, her mind weighing all the pros and cons of his proposition. But, hell, she felt horrible to be leaving this big thing about herself out of her best friends’ knowledge. She wanted to confide that with her unnies about her relationship with Yonghwa, about her love, about her fears, and about her hopes, so, in the end, she nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

That’s why three days later she found herself talking with them again, after begging and arranging things she could manage to find a day and time all of them could be present on a video call.

 

“Maknae, what is so important that it couldn’t wait for next month?” Yuri was the first one to talk, wrapped on her covers while on her bed. The others just agreed with her, making Seohyun blush.

 

“I have something to tell,” she said before any other of her unnies could speak, but then the words got stuck in her throat.

 

The girls were patients, looking at their maknae with interest, noting how the younger of them would look at her hand and move her lips without saying a word.

 

“Seohyunie, you know you can talk to us about anything. What is it?” Jessica finally took pity and said it gently trying to help her little sister.

 

The others nodded again, and continued to encourage her with words, and gently looks.

 

“We won’t bite, you know that,” Sooyoung finished for the others, smiling brightly.

 

Seohyun nodded and smiled gently taking all the courage she needed.

 

“I’m dating again,” she started, but couldn’t even finish, because all she could hear then were squealing and giggles.

 

“Really? Who is the lucky guy?” Yoona asked in the middle of happy giggles.

 

“He is one of those charming musical singers?” Sunny asked right after not giving time for Seohyun to answer.

 

“Oh, better yet! One of those fancy boys from university?” Taeyeon asked next and like before not giving time for Seohyun to answer.

 

“An actor??” Tiffany asked right after.

 

All that Seohyun could do was shake her head as they kept throwing her questions and names without letting her say any more words.

 

“Who is it then?” Hyoyeon finally lost it and pressed her maknae with a hard stare.

 

Seohyun diverted her eyes and played with her ring finger while she thought of the best way to break it to her friends.

 

“You know him already, we dated before,” she decided to be straightforward.

 

At that, the SNSD frowned and looked at each other through their computer screens. They could count in one of their hands how many people Seohyun dated through the years, and honestly, they didn’t think neither of them had much of a chance of getting her back. Only if… Only if it was _he_.

 

“Is it…?” Yoona started asking, but she couldn’t bring herself to finish because of her shock.

 

“No way,” Sunny shook her head while saying it.

 

“It’s Yonghwa, isn’t it?” Hyoyeon asked bluntly while the others just stared at Seohyun intently.

 

“Yes,” she said without any more preambles or delays. 

 

All the girls sighed, it was inevitable, after all, they saw how her relationship with Yonghwa took a toll on her, despite it wasn’t his fault, it was just the circumstances. But it still left a bitter taste in them, because they saw their maknae suffer, they saw her cry and scream because of it. However, they knew she still loved him, deep inside her, and they could say the same about Yonghwa because they saw that same mask their maknae would use in him, they saw that deep sadness hidden in his eyes, and they knew it was because of their maknae.

 

But, it was still difficult to not feel worried, not after all that happened. Their thoughts were interrupted by Seohyun’s voice.

 

“I know, I really know unniedul. I’m worried too, I’m afraid, but… But I can’t stay away from him any longer, I can’t deny him anymore,” she said with her voice breaking slightly. “We have been talking about it too, we know how this world of ours is so cruel, but we want to try again, we want to do it again.”

 

They listened to her in silence and felt their hearts squeeze at the pain and determination in their dongsaeng’s voice.

 

“And we will be there to support you, maknae,” Taeyeon finally spoke again, and said it seriously. “We will kick his ass hard if he hurt you again, anyway.” She huffed and crossed her arms.

 

“Yes! We will be there to catch you and hurt him until the end of the days if it’s necessary,” Jessica added and agreed with the oldest of their bunch.

 

The others added their threats as well, getting one even more ridiculous than the one that came before, successfully dismissing the heavy atmosphere that settled after they discovered who the boyfriend was. Not that they disliked Yonghwa, he was a really good influence on their youngest through and through, but they still worried because of how things ended the first time.

 

“Thank you, unniedul, thank you for everything,” Seohyun said sincerely in middle of giggles after Hyoyeon threatened to go to Yonghwa’s house and paint all his guitars hot pink if he so much made her get teary.

 

Her unnies smiled and finally congratulated her on her relationship and wished her all good things.

 

“I hope you two have the Happy Ending you two deserve, Seohyunie,” Sooyoung said with a big smile on her lips.

 

“I really missed calling him Jung seobang, so I hope this time will be for real,” Yuri added with a wink.

 

“For all happiness in the world, really,” Tiffany said, also winking.

 

“Thank you,” Seohyun said again, her smile the brightest of all, and her unnies knew that one well, she used to sport that one for all those years when she was with him, and that disappeared when things ended. She had bright smiles, but they never shone as they did when she was dating Jung Yonghwa, he had an innate talent to bring the best out of Seohyun, and they missed it.

 

They sincerely wished that smile would stay for the rest of her life. Her life with him.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¹Unniedul – It’s the plural form of the word unnie, basically is “unnies”.
> 
> ~~//~~
> 
> A/N: I was supposed to be writing the next chapter for "Happened", however, this idea was nagging me, and I decided to put this on paper before it would escape me. I hope you like this second chapter and tell me what you think! I hope I haven’t disappointed anyone ;) 
> 
> See you soon, 
> 
> Nath :*


End file.
